barbara walters just said penis...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my being single is dangerous.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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