mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
