Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
