My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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