Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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