Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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