He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
