Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
