We won't sleep together?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
