You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
