So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
