So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
