I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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