? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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