I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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