I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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