did you get engaged???
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
