We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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