I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
