For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
