Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
