Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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