There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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