somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
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Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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