some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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