pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
