We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
