just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
try to milk me bitch
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