covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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