Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
