We're facebook friends in real life
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
