Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
