You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
