Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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