If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
