Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
