I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
