so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
