Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't turn off my feet"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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