you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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