bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
