I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Randomize
