new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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