Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
