i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
