that's an acceptable place to lick
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
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You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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