Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is wine microwaveable?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
