We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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