margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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