Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing http://tfl.nu/kma4
  Replies (3) Good night (5606) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0
  Replies (32) Good night (4551) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate. http://tfl.nu/wnho
  Replies (90) Good night (741) Bad night (3615)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke. (1-314): i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c6uw
  Replies (26) Good night (2537) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): her lazy eye was starring daggers at me. http://tfl.nu/0qd5
  Replies (17) Good night (760) Bad night (3343)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell.. http://tfl.nu/hsjq
  Replies (37) Good night (13688) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done. http://tfl.nu/o8ax
  Replies (22) Good night (7380) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight. http://tfl.nu/ukzh
  Replies (21) Good night (5230) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2034) Bad night (3256)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth http://tfl.nu/r0sd
  Replies (8) Good night (1597) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear http://tfl.nu/cplq
  Replies (1) Good night (1095) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/nij2
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair http://tfl.nu/v5lw
  Replies (1) Good night (1699) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo. http://tfl.nu/6dok
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s http://tfl.nu/0nr9
  Replies (8) Good night (435) Bad night (318)

Randomize