We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car