Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.

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(216): View more from Ohio

He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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(805): View more from California

I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency

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(415): View more from California

WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???

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