question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
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I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.