the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
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The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???