you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.