Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital

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(617): i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital http://tfl.nu/4e4x

Replies (31) Good night (1025) Bad night (8964)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

We tried having a conversation with our noses.

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(856): We tried having a conversation with our noses. http://tfl.nu/by13

Replies (9) Good night (2831) Bad night (913)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

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(404): Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/rur7

Replies (17) Good night (4659) Bad night (975)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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(615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr

Replies (15) Good night (1117) Bad night (8167)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

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(403): There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity http://tfl.nu/85sl

Replies (9) Good night (3969) Bad night (1455)
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life

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(406): I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life http://tfl.nu/9zyl

Replies (10) Good night (6409) Bad night (1073)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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(202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew

Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (719)
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(925): View more from California

370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

(1-925): View more from California

what are you doing with your life

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(925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc

Replies (19) Good night (5289) Bad night (1520)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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(610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954

Replies (2) Good night (1177) Bad night (686)
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(941): View more from Florida

I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off

(1-941): View more from Florida

Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS

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(941): I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off (1-941): Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS http://tfl.nu/yudy

Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (624)
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(207): View more from Maine

Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

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(207): Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have http://tfl.nu/07nn

Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (456)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.

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(410): You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it. http://tfl.nu/i008

Replies (6) Good night (1596) Bad night (474)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven

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(215): Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven http://tfl.nu/y2y3

Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (472)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration

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(610): You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration http://tfl.nu/k4dg

Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (488)
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(416): View more from Toronto

cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.

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(416): cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/bx4b

Replies (3) Good night (1238) Bad night (450)

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