i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
