i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
