I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You made out with two different species that night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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