i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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