All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
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I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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