So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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