Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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