I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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