I wish I could punch you in the face.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
