This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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