This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
