you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
