she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize